Learning to use the toilet is a big step for toddlers and it can be difficult for some. Some children just seem to train themselves when they are ready, but many need some help from their parents. Parents see toilet training as an important milestone for their children and often become very concerned if it doesn't all go smoothly.

When will my child be ready?
Most children are not ready to learn to control their poo and wee (bowels and bladder) until they are two years old and some not until they are three. Some boys are later than girls. Control over poo may happen before or after control over wee.

To be ready to use the toilet or potty, a child needs to be able to:
* know when he has to do wee or poo before he does it,

* hold on for a short time so that he can get to the potty or the toilet

* The first sign that this will be happening soon may be that he tells you when he is actually doing wee or poo or when he has just done it.

When he gets praise for telling you, he will soon be ready to move on to the next step of telling you before he does it.

Other signs of readiness are:
* taking an interest in others using the toilet

* pulling at wet and dirty nappies

* telling you that his nappy is wet

* telling you that he doesn’t want to wear nappies anymore.

Be prepared to wait until your child is ready. Most toilet training problems can be avoided if you don’t start too early. Don’t try and set a date by which you want your child to be toilet trained, eg. before the new baby arrives. It works best if there is no pressure and you toilet train your child at the pace he can manage.

Getting ready to toilet train
* Teach your child the words needed for toilet training, such as wet, dry, wee, poo, it’s coming.

* Choose words that you are comfortable with.

* Choose either a potty, or a special toilet seat.

* A potty can be moved around the house but you may need to take it out with you if your child is not used to using a toilet.

* If you choose to use a special toilet seat, a step or footstool is necessary (a couple of bricks are cheap and easy to step up on), so that your child can get up to the toilet by herself, and can feel safe and relaxed there. She needs to be able to relax to be able to let the wee or poo out.

* If your child will be using the toilet, make sure that she can get to it by herself all the time (door open, light on at night), and that it is set up for her all the time that it is not actually being used by someone else. There will not be time to set it up when she really has to go NOW.

* Make sure that the toilet area is safe. Keep household cleaners, deodorants and toiletries out of reach.

* If you feel comfortable about it, let your child go with you to the toilet and talk about what you are doing.

* Make sure your child is wearing clothing that is easy to get on and off, and easy to wash, such as trainer pants.

* In the warm weather toilet training is often easier because there are fewer clothes to remove quickly when “wee is coming”. You might like to let your child go without pants or nappies for some of the time.

* If you are alert to your child’s signals, you can be ready to guide her to the potty or toilet in time.

Starting toilet training
If you think your child might be ready to start training, choose a time when you can give him your full attention. It is better to wait for a few days or even a couple of weeks until you have time, rather than try to rush it.

It is best not to start toilet training at a time when your child is adjusting to other changes, eg. when there is a new baby in the family or he is starting childcare.

Some toddlers can be introduced to toilet training by getting comfortable with the potty first, eg. leaving the potty where he can see and touch it, or letting teddy sit on the potty ‘to do a wee’. You might start by noticing when your child is doing a poo in his nappy and tell him, “I think you’re doing a poo”.

Watch for signs that he is about to do a wee or poo (such as expressions on his face or stopping very still for a moment) and guide him to the potty or toilet. You might say something like “Let’s see if there’s a wee coming”. Eventually he will be able to know and get there himself.

If your child tells you before he does a wee or poo, thank him for telling you and take him to the toilet or potty straight away. Toddlers cannot ‘hold on’ for more than a few seconds.

If he doesn’t get there in time at first, give him praise for whatever he has managed, eg. pulling down his pants, trying to get to the toilet, or sitting on the toilet. Make sure he sees that the praise is for learning a new skill, not something he has to do to please you. For example you might say, “You did that really well” rather than “You are a good boy for Daddy”.

Children should not be made to sit on a potty or toilet for long periods of time. This feels like punishment to the child and does not help toilet training.

Some toddlers are afraid of being flushed down the toilet. For these children a potty may be better. If you use the toilet, you may need to flush it when they are out of the room. Later they may be happy to try flushing the toilet after you have used it, and then be ready to have a go after they have used it.

Hygiene
Teach girls to wipe themselves from the front towards the back to keep poo away from the vagina.

Teach boys to shake their penis after a wee to get rid of any drops. Some parents have found it helpful in the early stages of toilet training to float a ping pong ball in the toilet for little boys to aim at.

Most toddlers don’t have the skills to wipe their bottom properly, so you will need to do this with them until they can get it right.

Teach boys and girls to always wash their hands after using the toilet or potty. Be positive and praise small successes. Learning to use the toilet is a new skill and can be tricky at times.

This article is courtesy of Children, Youth and Women's Health - where you will find more information about Toilet Training and many other issues...