* * * Separation Anxiety * * *

Separation Anxiety Separation anxiety is when a child gets upset when separated from a parent or loved carer. For example, a young child may become distressed when left with a baby sitter, or when put to bed by herself. Separation anxiety is normal during early childhood.

It usually starts at about six to eight months of age and lasts until about two and a half to four years of age.

Sometimes it can last longer if the child has had any painful separations in the early years. Separation anxiety reflects the child's attempts to hold on to what is safe in a very scary world, and it will settle down as the child grows older and more confident.

What parents can do -
All children have to learn to deal with separations. It is part of learning about life. If the first separations are managed well, it helps children with the separations they will have to deal with all through their lives.

* Always make sure that your child will be safe and well looked after at the place where you are leaving her, so that you can feel confident in assuring her that she will be fine.

* If possible, help her get to know any new situation or carer while you are there. It can take some time for her to feel comfortable if she is very anxious – you may have to stay with her at child care or preschool until she feels safe to let you go.

* If your baby or young child is going to child care, try to find a place where there will be only one or two people who will be her special carers and who will usually be there when she is there.

* If you can, stay with your child until she gets to know her carer. If you show that you trust and like the carer, it will help your child to know that she is safe.

* Always say goodbye, even if you have to go while she is upset. This builds trust. Sneaking out or trying to get away may make a child feel that you can't be trusted.

* When going out, try to leave the child with someone he knows and trusts.

* Let him keep his comforter (dummy, teddy or blanket) if he has one.

* Show that you understand his feelings, eg. "I know you wish I could stay. I wish I could stay with you too".

* Let the child mind something of yours (such as a bag or keys) when you are not there.

* Help him to know when you will be coming back. Tell him in ways he understands, eg. "after lunch".

* Be reliable and always come back when you say you will. If for some reason you can’t get back on time, let the carer know, so that she will be able to tell your child what has happened.

* Have lots of little practice separations, eg, play Peek-a-Boo and Hide and Seek (and make sure to be easy to find!). This helps the child learn that you always come back.

* Read stories about separations. There are many children's stories on this topic, including fairy tales.

* Sometimes if children are away from parents during the day they seem to want to make up time at night by staying up late. Try to give them extra time with you in the evenings.

This great article is courtesy of Children, Youth and Women's Health Service Website, they have lots of informative articles on a whole range of Parenting Topics.