* * * Love Your Baby * * *

Smiling at your baby helps make a brighter future for everyone. This is because the Baby’s brain develops rapidly after birth and for the first two years of their life.

It is during this initial two years that the front part of your baby's brain, behind the eyes develops.

This part of the brain is responsible for:
* Learning abilities (which will affect school performance)

* Limbic system which is where we learn how to relate to others, about having our needs met, impulse control, and how to cope with the world.

If these crucial pathways are not laid down – the damage is irreversible. The younger the baby who experiences neglect or even abuse – the greater the damage.

In the early months the baby learns about his/her world from the way his caregivers – usually Mum and Dad - respond to his cries – he/she learns social behaviour from the way the parents handle him/her – from eye-contact, facial expressions, tone of voice, the experience of the type of touch that they receive – soothing and loving – or abusive.

A baby slowly builds a relationship of attachment/trust – made of up tiny little experiences with the person caring for him/her – one baby step at a time.

If damage or non-development of this front part of the brain happens, this leads to learning difficulties later. The baby may appear “slow” - is also then more likely to be abused by a short tempered carer – child grows to feel different/stupid and isolated – progresses to feel more withdrawn or develops aggressive behaviour – becomes more isolated, and may join up with gangs – where they feel more accepted – can lead to criminal behaviour – In the USA there is now strong evidence that adolescents/young adults who become criminals – were themselves neglected or abused as babies.

There is also evidence to show that we tend to be the same sort of parent – as our own parents were. These same abused or neglected babies, grow up to have behavioural problems, become sexually active at a young age – and in turn become a parent – who has never seen good parenting skills. And so the cycle keeps repeating itself.

All babies are vulnerable – they are totally dependent on the care they receive from their Mum or Dad. If they are not being lovingly cared for – i.e. they are being hurt or neglected – they are unable to run away and protect themselves. Instead, the baby “shuts down” or “freezes” and disassociates itself from what is happening around them.

We nurture a baby when we hold them lovingly, touch them gently, make eye contact, speak with a loving tone, sing, and rock them gently, and most of all by responding positively to their cues or cries.

It is crucial for the baby that their main caregiver – their Mom or Dad is nurturing and smiling at them – if we support the parents of babies, they are more likely to be in a position to smile and play with their baby – a smiling face is the most positive social expression that anyone, especially the baby, can receive.

Studies now show that if the Mum or Dad is not able to nurture and smile at their baby – one consistent extra caregiver who becomes involved and nurtures the baby – can offset the negative effect of the other caregivers.

One person can make a difference.
All babies are vulnerable – how are we to know which Mother is developing Post Natal Depression – her partner may be climbing the Corporate ladder and be unsupportive. Post Natal Depression can lead to the Mum being unable to respond positively when her baby cries – her baby can be neglected – the Mum may even reject her baby.

Parenting Author Steve Biddulph says research supporting the importance of Dads is overwhelming. “Boys with absent fathers are statistically more likely to be violent, get hurt, get into trouble, do poorly at school and be members of teenage gangs. Fatherless daughters are more likely to have low self-esteem, to have sex before they really want to, get pregnant, be assaulted and not continue their schooling.”

We know which groups of parents are more likely to have babies that would be at risk.

These are the babies of Teenage Pregnancies, very young Parents, Single parents, unsupported Parents, Parents suffering from mental illness, or who are abusing drugs/alcohol and unable to care for their baby.

We can help by:-
* Individually supporting parents of babies, including being Non-judgmental – preferably from the time of the pregnancy

* Including Fathers and teaching them positive parenting skills right from the start

* Resources such as “Seven Steps to Baby Bliss”

* Support groups in the community

To break the cycle – we need to be involved particularly over the next 16 years – when those babies are likely to in turn become parents.

We need to be involved with the baby – particularly until they reach 2 years of age.
By being consistently involved with one baby – you can make a difference.
By making that Baby’s life brighter – you increase the chance he/she grows up to be a more positive adolescent, and makes the world a better place for all of us to live.

This article is courtesy of Ros Vroom of Mums the Word and Dad's the Word.

Ros has also released the very informative "Seven Steps to Baby Bliss" DVD.