Raising an Only Child
 Only children spend much of their early years in the company of adults, so it is not surprising that they tend to develop characteristics that please their elders. Typically they are widely perceived as either precocious or spoilt – both of which are neither desirable nor fair.
Only children, like those in ordinal positions, make great kids and adults. Birth order shapes the general trends for children not the fine details.
Only children are in the enviable position of never having to compete with a sibling for their parents' attention or any other resource for that matter. Only children don’t have to wait to be heard, share food with a sibling or even sit back and watch an older sibling bask in the status of first born while you are advised to quietly wait your turn.
With a one-to-one adult ratio they can easily believe that your world as a parent should revolve around them. Add grandparents to the mix and the affect is multiplied.
First borns are frequently burdened with high parental expectations to succeed. The pressure to exceed their expectations is very real. With no sibling to share the burden of parental hopes and dreams an only child can carry a heavy load.
Parents of only children have a great deal invested in their child and naturally want to do a great job. Having difficulty letting go or even providing space for development parents of only children frequently know in fine detail most aspects of their child’s life.
Contrast this type of emotional attachment with a child in a large family where parents know less about the minutiae of their children’s lives, which in many cases is a distinct advantage for kids.
Only children need opportunities to mix with other children from a young age. Sleepovers, camps and holidays with friends provide only children with many of the social skills they may need. They also benefit from keeping pets so they can develop the skills of nurturance and experience the pleasure of caring for something other than themselves.
Only children are frequently good at individual activities and keeping themselves occupied. With plenty of solitary time, which is important, only children have had the opportunity to spend time alone to think, to reflect and to draw on their own inner resources. They are often initiators or drivers of activities in later life as they didn’t have the luxury of siblings to keep them occupied.
This article is courtesy of Michael Grose. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit his website Parenting Ideas |